


Carl Buys a TV, by Himself

by theunwillingheart



Series: Perfect Wizard Gentlemen [2]
Category: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Electronics, Humor, Other, perfect wizard gentlemen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 19:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11320302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theunwillingheart/pseuds/theunwillingheart
Summary: The follow-up to "Tom and Carl Buy a TV".I guess I didn't learn my lesson.Spoilers for Book 3.





	Carl Buys a TV, by Himself

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired/instigated by a comment left by Chanter, who was sad that the shy TV didn't get purchased in "Tom and Carl Buy a TV". The idea of Carl feeling sorry for the TV and going back to buy it planted itself in my brain and wouldn't leave me alone until I threw it onto the page. Thanks a lot, Chanter. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
> 
> Disclaimer: This work is unofficial and entirely silly to boot. All characters belong to Diane Duane.

Tom was in the basement, rooting through the boxes of stored junk that lined the walls in search of some old gardening equipment, when he heard footsteps lightly pattering on the floor above him.

_Carl must be home_ , he thought absently, then paused—something was not quite right.

_Hold on, since when does Carl "lightly patter" anywhere?_

Still, the psychic signature above him was unmistakably Carl's. Curious, Tom shut the box in front of him and tiptoed up the basement stairs.

At the top, on the ground floor, Tom looked into the dining room to see Carl standing in front of the dining room table, a small TV screen sitting on top of it. Carl's back was toward him. He edged closer, listening to what Carl was murmuring to the TV.

"...want to be kind of quiet now; we don't want Tom to know we're here..."

_Oh! Are we going to surprise him?_ asked the TV excitedly.

Carl chuckled nervously under his breath. "Yeah," he said quietly, "That's it; it'll be a 'surprise'! ...Eventually."

"Surprise!" said Tom.

Carl jumped and swiveled around to face him.

"Tom!" he exclaimed, clutching his chest. "Don't. Do. That!"

_Greetings, Senior!_ chirped the TV. _I am pleased to offer my services to your cause!_

There was a silence as Tom folded his arms and gave Carl one of his most piercing glares.

"I bought it," Carl said plainly, and then all at once, "PleaseTomcanwekeepit?"

Tom sighed. "We already bought a TV, Carl. Remember? Yesterday?"

"But this one's _special_." Carl said obstinately.

_When you plug me in, I make moving pictures!_ said the TV, in a voice that suggested that it was trying to be helpful.

Tom slapped his forehead. "You were the one who was raising a stink about how much money we were spending, and now you go out and do this?"

"Aw, Tom, but this one's so economical! I'll work a few extra hours at the station, and it'll get paid off in no time!"

"And I'm just going to cover for those hours," said Tom in annoyed amusement. "Is that how this works?"

_Did I mention that I can display in both black-and-white_ and _full color?_ asked the TV.

Carl took in a deep breath.

"Oh come on Tom you know this isn't fair you got to choose the expensive entertainment system and I can't even pick out a tiny TV for myself you never let me do anything fun-"

_I also display all channels in a convenient miniature format!_ added the TV. It was starting to sound a little desperate.

"-and Peach left a big gaping hole in my heart and I think this could make it all better and-"

At the mention of Peach and gaping holes, Tom glanced over at the living room, where Peach had torn several gaping holes in the couch before leaving them. His eyes naturally wandered to the living room floor, where Annie, Monty, and Dudley were having a loud and spirited three-way tussle. Out the open window, he could hear the koi grumbling about how they hadn't been fed since the morning and making vague pronouncements of ill fortune on all negligent fish owners in haiku form.

Tom closed his eyes as a terrible realization dawned on him.

"This is it, isn't it," he whispered.

"-could hear it sniffling all the way to the checkout line don't tell me you couldn't hear that you heartless monster-"

" _This is why we have so many pets!_ "

"Please please please pleasepleaseplease-"

“I have got to draw the line somewhere,” Tom muttered.  “This is _ridiculous_.”

“-PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-”

"Carl." Tom opened his eyes and looked at his co-Senior. "Saying 'please' a lot of times is not an effective persuasion technique."

"Please?" asked Carl in the wizardly Speech.

"Twenty-plus years of an illustrious wizardly career," said Tom, "and your master negotiating tactic is to say 'please' in the Speech?"

"Yeah!" Carl said brightly. "Also, this." And he trained a pathetic "puppy-dog eyes" look on Tom.

"Augh! Don't look at me like—you're a _grown man_ , Carl!"

Carl looked momentarily startled, as if this fact had not previously occurred to him. "Oh, yeah, right," he said thoughtfully. "And that means that I can make my _own decisions_..." He smiled broadly. "And I say that we're keeping it!"

"Oh, now hold on-" started Tom, but it was too late. Carl had already turned away and picked the new TV up into his arms.

"I'm gonna call you 'Boxy'," Carl gushed, smooching the top of the screen and carrying it away into the back of the house. "Let's give you the grand tour, Boxy!"

Tom shook his head, sighed, and walked out to feed the fish.


End file.
